shut.up.

i can't believe i haven't updated in so long.
who am i kidding?
yes i can
i'd like to say i've been playing in the sun.

but i really haven't.

life has been confusing and overwhelming.
i sometimes have to remember that i am happy
to be off all those meds ...
but there are times when i am so stuck in emotional mud
that its all i can do to get to tomorrow.
it's all about letting someone down.
always, someone is going to be let down-
most times it's me.
and i guess that's okay
because that's what i do to not have the guilt.

i am not one that deals well with change
if i know what to expect i know how i will deal
ya know?
the past few weeks my schedule has been pretty much
here and there and everywhere and i am not liking it.
i do not deal well with change.

school.
i am waiting to hear if this VA thing will go through.
i may get to go back to school spring 2010...
and it's another thing that gets me all worked up.
i want to do it.
i am excited to go.
i LOVE school supplies.
but i am 33 freaking years old.
& i kinda feel like
"what's the point?".

i dont deal well with change.

going under

its wanting to go home
to the time when life was simple.


it's wanting time to be inspired
instead of swallowing each moment
and letting it pull you under.

didn't see that coming.

sometimes i just don't get it.
i'm trying to be an open minded individual.
but when it comes to certain things
i will not budge.

being the momma to a teenager
sucks today.

in the dark.

be back soon
or when the rainbows return.

double rainbow in aus, originally uploaded by glo-riah.

xoxo

on curveballs.

i don't like baseball
so i'm not exactly sure
why i chose the curveball analogy.

i just know that on wedensday
life threw us a curveball and
we came *this close*
to losing someone v. important
to us.

and i've been letting my thoughts
roll around in my noggin for the last
few days
wondering what, if anything,
i should say.

i guess it's really not my story to share.
so i'll just request that everyone hug
someone they love tonight
and tell them they're loved.
that should do it.

awh heck

there are few things
higher than traffic
on my list of least favorite things.

this was what i was up against yest
which threw me waaaay off my happy axis.

grrr.

not to worry- i'll be
up again soonish.


*kimmyk- i believe white people
call chanclas flip flops. :)

riddle me this.

how can a simple
HAIRCUT
make my 12 year old look
five years older
INSTANTLY??



help me.

and not because thanksgiving is next thursday.

my jeans were a lil bit tight
this morning.

time to switch strategies.

(edited: YES!! thank goodness.
kimmy's right. thanksgiving is next thursday.
phew)

god doesn't make mistakes.

another pic inside my car.

i picked up two of those buttons
at our local obama headquarters
when we were downtown last week.
the boy one snatched the other.
it is permanently on his backpack.
&
a girlfriend of mine sent me a text
to let me know she picked up a new obama
tee for me when she was in austin yest.
so giddy. i can't wait to see what it looks like!!

today was a trying day.
family drama reared it's ugly head again,
which leaves me feeling like i will NEVER
have a healthy relationship with my mother.
grr.

but i am willing to accept it and move on.
it's just a damn shame.

hmm.

yest someone flashed a 9 mm at us on the road.
i was not impressed.
thought a lot about my feelings on gun control
and other political stances, which exhausted me.

overslept this morning.
still got the kids to school on time. ha!
finally shaved my legs. :)
have most of my christmas cards addressed.
and most of the shopping done.
and wrapped.
started a  new book. 
tomorrow i scrap.