shut.up.

i can't believe i haven't updated in so long.
who am i kidding?
yes i can
i'd like to say i've been playing in the sun.

but i really haven't.

life has been confusing and overwhelming.
i sometimes have to remember that i am happy
to be off all those meds ...
but there are times when i am so stuck in emotional mud
that its all i can do to get to tomorrow.
it's all about letting someone down.
always, someone is going to be let down-
most times it's me.
and i guess that's okay
because that's what i do to not have the guilt.

i am not one that deals well with change
if i know what to expect i know how i will deal
ya know?
the past few weeks my schedule has been pretty much
here and there and everywhere and i am not liking it.
i do not deal well with change.

school.
i am waiting to hear if this VA thing will go through.
i may get to go back to school spring 2010...
and it's another thing that gets me all worked up.
i want to do it.
i am excited to go.
i LOVE school supplies.
but i am 33 freaking years old.
& i kinda feel like
"what's the point?".

i dont deal well with change.

in the dark.

be back soon
or when the rainbows return.

double rainbow in aus, originally uploaded by glo-riah.

xoxo

some one once told me not to sweat the small stuff.

so.
no wood floors.

and there won't be any, either.

the landlord fired two contractors
inside of a week.
and now he is losing money
by staying in town so long.
(he lives in LA and is leaving soon)
thus, no wood floors.
but.
wednesday we get carpet.
(i am so glad the first contractor
ripped out all of the downstairs carpet
before he was fired!!
otherwise who knows what we'd be stuck with!!)

while i am perturbed he has inconvenienced us
for so long, and with practically nothing to show for it,
i am aware that things could be worse.

i will finally get my house back.
be rid of the damned landlord
and possibly be able
figure out a routine.

because-
surprise surprise,
i still haven't figured out
how to fit in a 40 hr week
and *still* be a proper
mother, wife, friend.
its been almost two months.
how long does it take?
::sigh::

but it's all small stuff, right?

it feels like summer

and i miss my australian fruit barn.



it was so easy to get yummy fruit
when we lived down under.
lately it's been hit or miss
on what i bring home.
wth??
fruit is supposed to be SWEET!!


and fries are supposed to be soggy.

at least they are in my world.

i'm just sayin.

ever have one of those days?

i feel like i've capped off
one of those weeks!

we've decided to move house in may
and we'll be losing about 900 square feet.
but we'll be in the school district we want
so at least that's a plus...

today was spent doing laundry
and cleaning...lil bit of packing...
as well as grocery shopping
and purging.

so now i'm taking a break from the chores
to blog.
and to polish off a pint of ben & jerry's
cherry garcia frozen yogurt...

annoyed.

• some of my favorite blogs went private without warning.
• today was cold/hot/freezing
• gas is expensive!!
• i have gained five pounds since moving to texas.
• FIVE!!
• i have no clue what to get my babies for christmas.
• or my hubby.

on a really black friday...

holy moly, texas weather!!
we went from 85 degrees to
50 in like
half a day,
talk about whiplash!!

i got up at the
i never went to sleep last night.
so this morning
at 5, while in the shower
trying to will myself to stay awake...
i made a mental list
and decided i'd go out
and fight the crowds.

it was a bust.
i crossed a few more
people off my list, so
it wasn't a total bust.
but nothing i purchased
was on sale, so
really, i could have gotten the
extra sleep
and the gifts later on!!

grr.

what'd you get today??

e dub.

this is me
un-impressed.

warren varsity lost tonight.
by 5. FIVE.
those girls played like mad
they had a good lead early on
but by the last quarter it was evident
that they wanted to keep me in suspense!!

that's, okay girls, we'll get 'em next time.

E DUB!!

p.s. notice something twinkly in the background of that pic?
;)

isn't it pretty to think so?

i love that line.
it's from evening
which i thought was a good story to tell,
but that's it.

recently, i started thinking again.
about all of the things that people see/do/think.

the holidays are upon us.
and i am not speaking to my mother
at the moment.

i was thinking how stupid i was to think that
this was all i wanted.
to move "home".
i thought life would be perfect.
the kids could live near their grandparents
and i could visit with family and we'd all sit
around the table at holidays and enjoy each other's
company.

blech.

from the outside in, the holidays are a
wonderful, exciting time.
but i think it only
seems that way
if you're looking through the frosted window
into a warm room lit by the christmas tree.
the smiling faces
just moments before were probably
yelling at one another
for being selfish
ungrateful
or just plain
annoying in general.

i'm just sayin.

but i'm a big girl.
i will figure this out
and live with the choices i've made.

so this is the art that happened after all of that thinking was done:





and then this:



because i need to catch up on em's challenges,



and because i need to end this post on a happier note!!

i've moved!!

mygirl fixin' to get her carve on...

i should have done this a long

long time ago.

suffice it to say family shit 

made me delete my blog.

i am sad about it.

hell, there was 2 years worth

of my life on there!!

spilt milk.

here's the new place, 

for now i'm asking that you guys

not link me...

especially those that i had linked before.

thanks!!